Thanksgiving...?!

Thanksgiving Day is a harvest festival celebrated primarily in the United States and Canada. Traditionally, it has been a time to give thanks for a bountiful harvest. While it may have been religious in origin, Thanksgiving is now primarily identified as a secular holiday. It is sometimes casually referred to as Turkey Day. In Canada, Thanksgiving Day is celebrated on the second Monday in October, which is Columbus Day in the United States. In the United States, it falls on the fourth Thursday of November...

 

This was today! And I wished my American friends to have a happy one. And I read many posts in blogs, facebook and twitter, on how grateful we have to be and how thankful to be alive, breath, have a house, food, friends, etc etc. I respect all these, really... But I'm sorry, I can't do that. I cannot be thankful to be alive or to breath; this is existence by default. If I wasn't alive I wouldn't know, so how cares? I cannot be thankful to have a house!...I was never homeless, so it feels silly. I cannot be thankful for anything anymore, because the most important thing to be thankful for, was taken away from me: Health!!

How the hell can I be grateful for not being able to walk anymore, talk, do simple everyday things, have a normal life damn it?? My dreams have all been destroyed and shattered... Ok, being optimistic I'll say "suspended". But still, being thankful??? Why? Other people have it all, what I used to have and much more, and they don't appreciate a thing! Why should I be thankful going through all this crap, day after day after day? I can't always look at how some people are worse than me, I'm thinking about myself and how I was. Sorry! Just 3 years ago I was happy. I was getting ready for a great life making great plans; a new exciting business, a marriage, having children with Italian names... And now I have to be thankful I can walk with a "walker"?? Sorry again! This is definitely not a whiny or a feel-sorry-for-me post, I hope it doesn't come out as such. This is an angry post, a very angry one! Angry on how unfair life is... Angry for all the suffering and pain in people... Angry on how some don't appreciate being healthy, functional,"normal"... Angry on those (including myself in the past) who underestimate the little things someone can enjoy, as long as he/she is healthy.

I know some might disagree, your comments are ALWAYS welcome and valued... I hope I didn't offend anyone. I also hope next Thanksgiving to have a better attitude and find reasons to be thankful.

(Hope hope hope...I'm starting to hate this word).